Have you ever thought why everyone has someone but you’re alone with your fake miniature cactuses and money in your bank not being spent enough? Or maybe not, but here’s a list anyway:
1. You seem unapproachable
Some people have a vibe around them that “potential candidates” either feel they’ll get rejected or that you’re just too happy/sad/crazy/bad-vibe-y for them.
But that’s a them-problem, you could always prove them wrong by making the first move. Or not, live alone who gives a shit about their opinion anyway.
2. You’re too career-oriented
Focusing on your career isn’t wrong, as the famous saying goes “love doesn’t pay your bills” but it can help you when you need somebody to bitch about your office or judge people with.
3. You value your independence
You’ve seen one too many relationships, and probably decided that you’re better away from all the hassle. I know I have. Who’s got the time to give people a detailed note on how your day was? It was how it was, go to sleep.
Unless you’re into that sort of thing then go for it, text me when you do. I might even give you a few random stories to make your day seem interesting. I got your back!
4. Your past relationship just wasn’t it
We all know how traumatic a bad relationship can get, and maybe it’s just that. Maybe you don’t wanna trust anyone, or just don’t like the feeling of getting hurt or losing someone. All valid reasons.
But that just means you’re living in the past, take this as a sign and maybe treat yourself to some good time, don’t marry them, but just a good time.
Now that I’m done trying to help you cope, let me hit you with some very real (hopefully) and very hard facts on why you’re probably better single:
1. You don’t have to share your food
Some people think that just because you’re in love with them they’re allowed to take fries from your plate or sip from your mug of tea. In the words of the great philosopher and the real preacher of love, Joey Tribbiani “JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD!” and you shouldn’t have to either.
2. You’re in charge of your own happiness
Being in a relationship or single or married isn’t gonna make you happy unless you’re happy yourself. So stop running after things don’t matter, and run after the ice cream truck. It’s hot, and so are you, get yourself an ice cream instead.
3. Love leads to marriage leads to babies
My dude, you DO NOT need that in your life. Yes they’re cute, but they’re freeloaders! Living in your house, not paying the bills, instead you have to share your snacks with them and clean their diapers. And what did I just tell you about sharing your food?
4. You do you
You can create your own routine, however you want it to be. Suddenly wanna go and eat? You got it. Decided to go out but you wanna go back? You’re the boss. Need someone to tie your shoelaces for you? No you don’t, fuck the shoes, go barefoot. You got all the control baby, who wants to give that up and for what? Love?
The famous philosopher and author of many masterpieces, Eminem said “Love is evol, spell it backward I’ll show ya!” And he wasn’t wrong, my dude. He wasn’t wrong.
